…today, and not a bad one which was nice. Once upon a time I had planned to have regular pyjamas days - recovery days really. Slobbing around in my favourite pyjamas, watching TV, eating good food, reading and napping.

Of late though I’ve needed every day to be a recovery day and the novelty has rather warn off. I think I’ve forgotten how to enjoy resting - actually I think I’ve been too tired to enjoy resting.

Today did feel a bit different. I did enjoy myself - mostly. Plenty of TV too watch, May Sarton to read, nice food to eat (I actually cooked something from scratch for lunch) and a reasonable nap.

I am beginning to believe I’m starting to crawl back to a better place. The trick now is not to overdo it. A change of scene will be good. Tomorrow evening I’m going to N’s but perhaps Wednesday should be another Pyjamas Day. Perhaps if I schedule them regularly I’ll have more days when I don’t need them. I would like that.

Did May Sarton have Pyjamas Days? I suspect she did, at least in spirit. Interestingly I’ve been reading in her Journal of a Solitude about how she feels her time alone is her real life. The time when she can digest and understand her times out in the world. It is when she does her creating too. I don’t think she talks very much about loneliness though she does mention a lot about depression and sorrow when she is alone with herself. I don’t tend to feel lonely either, though I don’t really relish the idea of too much more time alone. I have got used to my own company up to a point and do value it, but I’m not sure it’s my real life either. It’s certainly the majority of my life just now. Maybe a healing time too? But I would like to think that there is some more real life out there to be had too.