my sketchcrawl…
May 24th, 2005
…was a very domestic and very short affair. I’d love to be wandering around a big city drawing the famous landmarks - perhaps sitting in Tate Modern looking out over St Pauls. For now though I have to content myself with the small, familiar and local.
I think I’m pushing myself too much again, losing sight of what’s important and necessary. It’s a lesson I seem to have to learn again and again and again.
Over the weekend I was hit by a stomach bug that meant I had no choice but to sit and do nothing. It made me realise how, even now, I don’t do that enough. To the outside world I’m sure my life looks very slow and very small, but I really can only measure it against what I can do, not what other people can do - something I’ve been forgetting.
Recently I’ve been thinking I should be doing a little more, when actually perhaps I need to just do what I’m doing (or even a little less). Being satisfied with where I am is something I’ve never been very good at. There is always the urge to add a little here, improve a bit there. Before I know it I have a pile of should and oughts that my present state of health can’t cope with and that get in the way of my doing what is central, inspiring and good for me…
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May 24th, 2005 at 10:33 am
stomach bug??? ach you puir wee thing…
hope you feel a lot better
May 24th, 2005 at 10:50 am
MIchael, I hope you are now feeling better. Sending you healthy and positive thoughts across the ocean,
Laura/laureline
May 24th, 2005 at 11:13 am
A small, slow life is wonderful for drawing in!
May 24th, 2005 at 1:12 pm
To an outside blog reader, your life sounds quite cozy and centered and focused. Small drawings, small days, make for a highly detailed and rich life. I hope you get over your sotmach bug soon.
May 24th, 2005 at 3:30 pm
Hi Michael, Long time no comment !
Been struggling with my own CFS and too- busy life.
Actually I think the juggling between doing too much ( in light of ambition, pressure etc.) and too little for oneself ( in light of wish to please, help, accomodate) is common to a lot of people nowadays.
The problem with having a chronic illness is that it complicates all that and the almost offhand remark about your stomach bug probably doesnt begin to illustrate how much that can impinge on your energy levels and your ability to function. Certainly when I get some run ‘o the mill malady like that it can really mess things up in all sorts of directions and I feel really resentful about my illness.
Stay quiet, be kind to yourself and recognise the incredible amount you DO do for someone with ME/CFS. You’re creative and inspiring
May 25th, 2005 at 11:30 am
“To the outside world I’m sure my life looks very slow and very small, but I really can only measure it against what I can do, not what other people can do - something I’ve been forgetting.”
what an awesome insight for you to make, MN.
live life by your own speed. don’t measure by anyone else’s. their speed doesn’t mean it’s right for you.
gentleness and blessings to your days,
leonie